Wednesday 14 February 2018

im honestly, tired. you made up your mind, you know you want to be with.

i lost all the securities i could ever get from you.i lost myself while trying to defend you.

it hurts so badly, that things would turn out this way. that you would really become this person .

why did you do it? why did you lie? why did you go around hurting someone again?

does her moving on makes you feel jealous? does her clinging onto you makes you feel bad for leaving her from the start?

you said things you didnt meant to keep.. are promises only meant to be kept ?

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i was typing this the other day, and i only managed to continue now. i didnt want to erase the top part, because its meant to be there since i once felt that there was hope..

but i was wrong. i never will ever trust you again, i never will ever have faith in you again.

you disappoint me as a man, you dont deserve the best..

you made such an awful mistake , is it worth it? are you going to risk everything just for that short moment of happiness ?

you know very fucking well, that it will never ever work between you two again. the whole family is against it..

and you risked it, are your family not important? they are the ones who raised you into a good son, you went to break their heart...

she may have everything. money, looks, body... but does she have a nice heart? if you say she have, i am sorry for you..

the following will be my summary of us. and this time, its the final chapter of us im going to write.
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每个人都有自己最黑暗的过去，每个人都会有自己的故事。 我的故事是因为你而开始的，所以呢。。。。。

这两年里， 我用心去爱一个人，却发现自己爱的不是我该爱的人。 我没后悔走下这条路，因为在这段路里，我跌倒了也学会爬起来，继续往前走。

爱一个人可以为那么一个他牺牲一切，放弃一切。这个是我们心甘情愿的事。 有些事情只有发生了才会反省，有些人只有错过了才来珍惜。好可惜我们应该就属于哪些错了人才来珍惜吧。

为什么会要做小三？ 会什么会要去破坏一段好好的感情？ 也许是因为人一时的冲动？ 还是因为自己想要的就一定要在那个时候拿到？

不是每个人都可以天天安慰自己告诉自己做小三没什么大不了。 现在什么年代了？ 很正常的啊？ 也许吧。 可是我不是酱的人， 我不喜欢自己做成酱的人。我很后悔自己在那时说服了自己走下这段路。

走过了，伤过了，累过了，放下了。

当他做出同样的错来伤害我时，我知道该放手了。他可以用前任来伤害你，代表他没真的爱过你。

一旦知道你骗我了，我真的觉得自己很傻很天真，很笨。 知道你是在骗我还安慰自己的说没事的。其实心里都已经知道了，这份感情已经到了最后一段了。

不会再应为你而哭，不会再因为你而没胃口吃饭， 不会再应为你而痛了。

有些人只有错过了才后悔，也许你也后悔了？ 也许你还没知道什么是后悔。 真正爱你的会在该放手的时候放手。 她可以忍耐你酱对她，我不可以。

我真心希望她会找到一个会好好爱她的人。找到一个她爱得起的人。

你也一样，你还是选择了她，那就好好爱她吧。

我们不可以那么贪心， 不是你的就放手了。 有时候坚持只会带给自己伤痛。

因为知道你爱过我的样子所以可以说你已经不爱了？ 也许你以为我还会一直等你，以为我真的没有你不可以。对， 是真的， 我会等，我会爱。可是我也会放手。

爱一个人就让他去吧。

我以前幻想的未来也都是一场梦。 不会再讲爱你了，不会再说我等你了。

知道了真相后，我真的不知道该怎么面对你了。 我心里想的不是我表现出来的，你也一样吧。 你可以说出口的话你心里不内疚吗？

很多事我知道，我不出声是因为我知道你会说什么话。 我知道你会怎样去骗我。明明错的是你，为什么道歉的是我呢？

我道歉因为还有爱？ 我也不清楚了。

终于走到了无法走下去的终点了。 我还是一样， 谢谢你 。 在这两年里，教我怎么去爱一个人， 怎么去安慰自己。

开心的日子，让我觉得是不是在做梦。 伤心的日子多，让我知道梦已结束了。

毕竟我真的爱过你，我也会勇敢的放下你。

放下一个人也不是今天说明天就做到，我们都需要时间的。 我会勇敢的往前走。 我不会再走回头路了。就算后悔也不往后看了。

你要走回以前的路，你走吧。 希望你在那段路知道什么是爱。什么是珍惜。 。。。。

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im glad i finally wrote it out, many have been asking. i will be coming back stronger than before. i promised myself that i wont hurt my heart anymore. its time to heal and be stronger.

im writing this , because i know you may one day be reading this. or if you dont ever read, then its fine too.

at least, i know what is true love. at least i can still convince myself to be a strong girl ,

she deserve better for who she is, and she will know that one day, she has to let go too..

maybe when that day come.... both of you will really know how to cherish someone.....

be proud of yourself, give yourself a tap on the shoulder. because we all got a long way to go. we might meet on the streets again, we might visit old places in hopes to see one another again. but even if we do ever meet again....

please promise me this. dont say hi to me. dont do anything and just walk off like we are strangers.


this time,  its really the end.
 

     再见了，我曾经真的很爱过的 马两点先生.

Labels: to more happier days. for both of us and everyone else...