Thursday 25 August 2016

在一起五个月了，才知道为什么我放不下你。。 原来我太爱你了，你就是我的世界我的一切，而我呢？ 在你眼里也许没那么重要，你突然回想起过去，我真的好怕你想回到她身边。也许因为你的内疚，她可能以为你还是对她有感觉的。。。搞到我生了一张大病，而在那段期间，你还在医治自己的心，我就在那要死不死酱。好辛苦好累，可是心里还在担心着你。你有时对我冷有时对我热，我都不讲什么，我只希望有你在身边。 一个简单的爱情，就是要伤心时有你安慰，开心时和你分享，生气时有你出气，难过时可以抱着你哭。。有时我真的很累很想放弃，很想告诉自己做么要酱对自己呢。可是我还是选择了忍下。你一定不知道其实你有很多事瞒着我，可是我什么都懂。在你内疚的那段时间，你在想她过得好不好，她在做什么。我什么都知道，我也不希望你少了一个像她那么好的朋友。可是我过不了自己那关，我接受不了。很多时候只能假装不知道，可是事实就摆在我面前。这种痛和辛苦我不想要了。真的好累。

everytime i check her profile or yours. i can see that she still likes your photos, like i am non existence. and it really irritates me alot, but what can i say? who can i say to ????? dont you know that it hurts my feeling. i am a bitch to have came between you and her, and i feel guilty af, i hate myself for doing something like this. i thought i could have just keep you as a crush. and when you are gonna get married to her, i will put the feeling down and behind. but no, you had to come and tell me you had feelings for me too, and gave me hope. but you got my hopes up high and you let it fall, let it crushed. i am hurt. i am tired. my heart is not as strong as i think it is, i keep lying to myself . i  keep telling myself that i am fine. but no i am not, and i can just break down anytime. but i am holding onto everything and every strength in me to not let that happen.

i may not say anything, but i know everything. i am doing whatever i can to make sure my parents like you, but stop hurting me . cause one day, i will be cold ..

如果有一天我失忆了，你会用什么办法让我想回你？ 还是你会利用那个机会离开我？ 回到她的身边？做么我有个感觉，她还在等你回头。 难道你真的会转心吗？你会不会突然发先也许你还是爱她的？你看到她时，会不会决定不要我了？ 我很累，很拍。 我什么都不想去想了。我只想开心的过日子，希望我们能够永远在一起。一起白头偕老，一起看着儿女长大成家，抱着我们的孙子，把孩子养大。。。

Thursday 11 August 2016

helloo! so its going to be the second week of august soon, and i decided to update this space. xoxo

basically many things have happened for the past few weeks. many ups and downs, many confused and tired feelings. but overall, we both overcame it tgt and we walked this far together. really blessed by god for being able to have you.

so this boy here, finally came over and met my parents. not bad for a start, its been almost a month. and he has been coming over every off day. hehehe, which is good cause we can stay home and we don't need to be outside spending money. :p    really glad that my parents didn't object or anything. however, he still has to pretend that he doesn't have tattoo and he has to stop smoking before coming over. i just hope my parents will accept him the way he is soon, so that he won't have to always hide his tattoo and stuff. but i hope he can reduce his sticks.

gonna start my healthy lifestyle again. starting to gym slowly and get back on tracks too. gonna make an effort to jog more often now. and plan my bedtime and meals properly. i want to get fitter and stronger. i want to be slimmer. :(   so the other day, i jogged from panjang to yew tee just to find this  guy, and it was a good 6.8km jog~ although my timing could be improved. ...  i will work on it , and become better!!  #jiayous  


feeling blessed with many love. thank you bb for coming over even though i was busy studying at first..  and thanks for helping me pluck the meat from the crab when you knew i won't eat them cause i refuses to touch crabs and foods with my hands. :p   thanks for showering me with so much love. <3
also thanks to my cousin for giving me and my sister this selfie camera, now i can take better quality selfies with everyone !! ^^


its been a long time since joanna came over too, and justin had so much fun yesterday thanks to both of them ^^ thankful for a good friend by my side ~


 so i posted this photo on instagram ytd, and i wanted a caption real badly.. and shixuan decided it for me " blessed to have them in my life <3 "   hehehe thank babe for always being there for me at all time. love you many many ,!

so basically that sums up my pre exam post, gonna be studying hard for exams from today onwards and be going to the gym more often as well as doing more jogging and runnings to burn some fats. #jiayousss !

Labels: love you love you